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Lovers' Awoof e-flyer

If anyone had told Ada ‘The Girl’ this was going to happen, she would have laughed. Hard. Her friends would burn green with envy. Her namesake at work, that one that was always competing with her, would simmer with jealousy o. She thought, cracking up.

It started a week before the only day people remembered to show love. And wear red while at it. You know, Valentine’s Day. Seye had called to say he was taking her somewhere soon, but he was telling her so he would be committed to it now that she was aware. In her mind, it was a trip to Dubai. Seye had been promising they’d go for a while but he hadn’t had the chance to get off work for a few days. Was he finally putting her first?

“No. Because you you’re the kingdom of God ba”

“Abeg, abeg hold it. Don’t I deserve some assurance? Abi does Chioma have two heads? Mtchewww”

If you’re wondering, this conversation took place in her head. With her inner mind that was always trying to dim her shine.

Valentine’s Day came in a flash and Ada was giddy with excitement. Questions of where and what, were running through her mind. Where would he take her? What was the surprise? Was it a ring!? No. It can’t be a ring. She wasn’t ready to go that far just yet. What if a better offer came along just when she got engaged?

“Better offer? Na work? So, imagine sey na ring, you go reject am?”

“Me? Ring? I no go kolet am o. Abeg, abeg. Which pesin pikin wan come turn to lord of the ring?”

“Besides, Seye has hinted me on countless occasions how he doesn’t get why people still rush to get married with the state of the economy. So, baby girl, we’re just gonna parte after parte!”

She played the jam and began to dance.

Seye picked her up in their (Yes o. “Their”. We die here) Lexus RX 350 and they were on their way.

Butterflies began to move madly in her belly when they passed Secretariat. OMG! We’re going on a trip and this sweet, sweet man didn’t even tell me to pack! Ah! It’s one of those scenes I watch in romcoms

Everything’s been set in our room at the Taj… Ada ‘The Girl’ sighed inwardly. She wasn’t going to let on that she knew what he was trying to do.

Until they entered Berger Road and she saw, “Goodbye to Lagos”

“Baby, where are we going? We just passed Ikeja o. Are you going to turn under the bridge?”

“Relax Ada. Just calm down. You’ll see soon.”

But Ada wasn’t calm. In fact, Ada was beginning to think this was the last damned! time, she’d be going anywhere with this foolish boy.”

“Okay, I can see your countenance is turning sour.”

“Take.” He took out a colourful brochure from the glove compartment.

“Read this and let me know what you think.”

“Wetin be dis?”

Ada took the brochure and read out loud,

Bleu Orange Oxford

“Real Estate Marketing and Investment.”

“So?” She asked him in annoyance.

“See abeg, abeg, just tell me what’s happening now.” She said angrily. Pouting and looking out of the window.

“Mowe ke!”

“Yes babe. We’re in Mowe. Want to take a wild guess what we’re doing here?”

“Snowdiving. Ode. Be asking me jamb question.”

“Seye what are we doing here nah?” She whined. “I thought we were going to the airport.” She confessed.

“Ewo! To do what nah?” Seye laughed as he asked.

“Shut up! You’ve been moving our Dubai trip. I thought this was finally it.”

“Eyah. Oya what if I tell you you’ll like what I’m about to show you more than Dubai?”

“There better now be a shortcut to Capri in Mowe, because I can’t even imagine what I’ll see now that’s better than spending Valentine with you. This weekend. In Dubai.” She ended with another whine.

“How about 3 acres of land all in your name. Fully paid for. All yours to do with as you wish. Hmm?”

I say e be like film, mommy! I went deaf when I heard that.

Ada ‘The Girl’ was back from the trip to Dubai. With 3 acres in her name to boot. Seye had planned to take her to Dubai, he only wanted to double the surprise. She was now explaining to her mother what had happened to her.

“Mom, he got me 3 ACRES OF LAND. See the papers, they are in my name! Even if I break up like this, like this, na me get am.” She laughed as her mother jokingly slapped her arm.

Ada quickly brought out the documents certifying her ownership out of her handbag.

“The funniest part is, he didn’t even mean to.” She said as she brought out the Bleu Orange Oxford brochure.

“He only wanted to buy himself 3 acres to start the farming business he always had in mind. Only for him to contact these Bleu Orange Oxford people two weeks ago and discover they were on a buy one, get one free promo.”

“Mommy, he bought 3 acres of land and was given 3 more. FOR FREE.”

He said he thought, “Why don’t I just gift this to this Ada babe wey still dey get second mind? Make I give her assurance.” She told her mother, laughing.

“See ehn, I’m telling everybody I know about this thing. Work o, church o. Everybody. I can’t just keep it to myself.”

 “You guys should even watch how you talk to me now o, I’m a land owner. Real Estate Mogul.

“Na so.” Her mother said, laughing.

“But Ada, I haven’t heard about this kind of promo before o. This is real estate, not toothpaste or Always o. Are you sure it’s legit?” Her mom asked.

“Mommy look at these papers nah, do they look fake? I say he took me to the land. All 6 acres of it. The beautiful thing is, Bleu Orange Oxford can even help me sell it if I don’t want to use the land. They can also help me build too if I don’t want to handle the stress. I be premium customer!”

Her mother stared long and hard at the papers. Being a lawyer herself, she could whip out discrepancies in any document.

She stood abruptly and headed for the door.

“Mommy, where are you going nah?”

“My dear,” She said as she turned towards the bed and snatched up the brochure.

“To demand some assurance from your father.” Abi, “What is love without assurance biko?”

They both laughed as she left to nag her husband.

“Mom just remember to tell him the promo will end on the 29tb of February o!” She shouted after her mother.